Boxcars beats Snake Eyes by Dunc, 30th Aug 2014
Given the extreme generosity of the two Greyhound teams, you’d be forgiven for thinking we were still playing friendlies. But no, the first games of the season end with both teams firmly at the foot of their respective divisions.
Craps. The reference to boxcars and snake eyes – throwing 2 sixes or 2 ones. The results were, obviously, crap(s) as well. [If it needs explaining, it’s a crap(s) joke. I’ve done it again…]
Hounds Reserves 1 – 6 Evergreen
The only positive to come out of this game was the fact that I need to go and buy a new pair of boots. Both boots did that thing where the sole comes off at the front and ends up flapping around – which handily provided a perfectly adequate excuse for my own shocking display.
Whilst a half time score of 1-2 may appear on paper to be close, in reality we were already swimming helplessly against a never ending tide of green. [Never. Green.
N ever green. Evergreen. Geddit??? No.] They scored first, a scruffy goal for us to give away, with the ball pinballing betwixt ‘keeper, defender and striker. The second was awful – a free header from a corner, which proved to be our undoing with alarming regularity. Even our goal was gifted to us by a horrible miss-slice by their ‘keeper – no idea who scored, but I can narrow it down to one of Rodgers, Ali, Hallo or even possibly Mark. You know, the ones that hang around up front and stuff.
The second half, according to the scoreline, was much worse. This was also when I came on… In defence.
Ignoring that little fact-ette, we should have been back to 2-2 – Beetroot Bob, for reasons only known to himself, turned down our 100% accurate appeals for a penalty. Would it have changed the outcome of the game? Probably not, but you never know. Before long, Evergreen were back in our half and launching a long throw into our area. I had spent so long shouting at everyone to mark a player, watch runs etc. etc., that I completely forgot to a) mark my opposition fellow and 2) watch his run. He nodded into an empty net after the ball was flicked on at the near post. Oops.
There then followed 30-odd minutes of madness as Evergreen seemingly played 4 up front and attacked at will. Sam-in-goal also managed an embarrassing drop-kick-cum-slice that gifted them their fourth (or fifth) goal, but it seems unfair to mention that. Oh…
Whilst it would seem possible to mention mitigating factors such as the pitch, the wind and the ref (standard Downs League factors), they were the same for both teams. More accurate factors might be: winning the ball in the air, marking players in the box and being more up for it than the opposition! All things we can work on and least we can’t get any worse…
For a perfectly reasonable and far more accurate version of events, head over to the Evergreen website for their match report.
Hounds Reserves Man of the Match of the Week…
Hounds 1 – 6 Torpedo
Apparently 0-3 at half time. I’m glad I turned down the “opportunity” to go in goal, because Dan thoroughly enjoyed himself…
It’s funny how easy it is to write a match report when you win by loads – check out the Torpedo version of events.
Dunc’s Quote of the Week…
“That was f**king shit” Literally everyone, Aug 2014