Reserves exit GFA Cup in first round | Hounds enjoy Jamaican weather and fire in 7 goals | Baron von Ridlengaarden’s 'mock' stag-do by Dunc, 26th Sep 2009
A bumper weekend of fun-filled frivolity – no idea about footie – but there was Alvan’s sun cake™, Henry’s hangover, Sturge’s command of the English language, Rocco’s joy, Si’s anger and Ridlengaarden’s Oompa-Loompa impression. What a mix!
First up, the changing room ‘banter’ began with Alvan admitting that he’d spent most of the week baking – his work mates had engineered some kind of bake-athon, so he had to do baking to try and win. After 2 hours buying ingredients… he came up with the triumphant sun cake™. A cake in the shape of the sun. With a smiley face and everything. Oh, and I believe he made a cheesecake too. The one person who didn’t hear this story was Henry – mostly because he wasn’t in the changing room. We found him unconscious next to the pitch, with a ‘THEKLA’ stamp on his hand. Amusingly, he tried to claim that he probably didn’t have a hangover. However, he confirmed he did have a hangover when trying to do a spit (whilst in the pre-game huddle), getting it completely wrong and instead dribbling onto my boot. Pleasant. Karma had the last laugh by making him throw up behind a tree after he’d been substituted… Sturge, having competed manfully in the inaugural Hounds Spelling Bee Championship, may well have to compete in this year’s inaugural Hounds Plural Spelling Bee after this gem during the warm up: “don’t forget to do this with both foots.” Genius.
Hounds Reserves 1 – 3 Oldland Abbotonians A
Man alive, we started badly. First 20 minutes, we let them control the game and basically gain the upper hand. As soon as they had netted their first goal, the game was already slipping away from us. In fairness, we battled back into the game before half-time, with Jeeves scoring a corker of a goal. Loitering on the edge of the penalty area, the ball was cut back to him and he shaped to whack it as hard as he could – however, at the last second he probably remembered that he’s rubbish at whacking it (ref: the second half ‘shot’ that harvested almost 4000 conkers from one tree) and he superbly side-footed the ball into the corner of the goal, giving the keeper no chance at all. The score stayed at 1 – 2 until the death, Oldland nabbing a third as we tried to force an equaliser. Jeeves, Craig Nedved and Dunc shared the MOTM votes! Oldland’s young team were very good, but had we pressured them more at the start of the game, we may have got a result…
After the game, Rocco realised he’d won the McMahon Sweepstake for the game and set off on the most elaborate celebration seen this season – Matt L could take lessons – arms and legs everywhere, like one of those inflatable dancing thingy bob wotsit things – oh bugger it, here’s a picture of what I mean.
Hounds 7 – 1 Jamaica Bell
Everyone scored goals! Well, not quite everyone. Si C definitely didn’t. I think Ali started off the goal-fest, Steve P chipped in with a hat-trick (bagging the MOTM in the process) and Alvan, Ty & Marc S found the net too. Si didn’t. Fuming he was. Jamaica got it back to 5 – 1, but were never at the races.
Baron von Ridlengaarden’s ‘mock’ stag-do
This October, Baron von Ridlengaarden and his bird will become Baron and Baroness von Ridlengaarden. In order to celebrate this noble occasion, His Lordship graced us with his presence in the Greyhound.
Or rather he graced us with his alter-ego, Baron von Oompa-Loompangaarden – complete with orange skin and green hair and everything. Tiger kept things moving all night with a succession of drinking games that seemed to end up with me having to drink something. Not quite sure how that worked out… but at least I didn’t have to spend most of the evening picking up a cardboard box off the floor by only using my teeth (without touching the ground with any other part of the body except for feet). Complicated. That honour fell to Adam C, giving an accurate impression of one of those bendy nutters that appears on Britain’s Got Talent. Allegedly. Oompa-Loompangaarden gave it a go, but his hamstrings sounded like the creaking timbers of a 600 year old ghost ship. The party continued in the jewel of Bristol’s club scene – the Lizard Lounge. Sadly, I didn’t make it to the LL as I had an early Sunday tee-time at St Pierre – you’ll be glad to know a cheeky 90 resulted, with numerous 3-putts and a momentous 4-putt chucked in for good measure!